165.5

That literally makes zero sense. I did not binge, I only ate 600 calories. And I Gained a pound and a half. That salt water flush really screwed my body up.
Well I have no school today, so right now what I want to do is stay on my treadmill all day, water fast for 48 hours (because gaining 3 pounds is not acceptable, and hope it's just my period or something.

Seriously, I count everything that goes into my body everyday. This gain makes no sense.
It's honestly scaring me.

Hi my name is Tasha and my body hates me

I have had the worst stomach pains for the past few days.

Decided to do a saltwater flush today.

I thought it worked really well.

And I gained afterwards?

Not one, not two. two and a half pounds.

164. That doesn't even make sense.

I want her stomach.

Eats:

Cookie: 69

Rice Cake 1/8 5

8 animal crackers: 60

Cottage Cheese: 53

Saltines: 108

Soup: 160

Roasted Peanuts: 166

Total: 621

I'm trying to restart my metabolism. I've been eating around 300 for a few days now, I'm scared my body will adjust and won't burn fat as quickly.

Moves:

Hula Hoop: 98

Net: 523

I feel fat. But maybe it will work, maybe my metabolism will stop malfunctioning and I'll be lighter tomorrow.

Maybe, but It won't, because I'm a piggy.

Oink, Oink.

That's not right.

I ate 330 (328 if you wanna be exact) calories and I feel full.

I don't feel good when I'm full, I feel fat and I hate myself.

I don't feel like I'll lose if I'm full.

Right now I'm just a big pile of self hatred, and I'm trying really, really hard to be cheery, but I can't. I just wanna lie on my floor and die.

The Eats:

Chicken Noodle Soup: 140

Saltines: 60

Cottage Cheese: 53

10 Animal Crackers 75

Total: 328

Excerise:

Hula Hoop (1 hour) 300

Sit Ups 29

Total: 329

Net: 0 calories.

And I still feel fat.

There better be a loss tomorrow, or I'm going to go insane.

Current weight: 162

I hate the scale. I hate my metabolism. I hate my need to snack.

I hate everyone, everything.

We all have to start somewhere

This is my begining, this is my path, this is what I want to do.

Hunger Hurts, Starving Works.

Highest Weight: 175
Current Weight: 163.5
Goal Weight: 130 (or lower)


I've lost 6.5 pounds in a week. And I'm starving, I'm fighting off the unescapable urge to run downstairs and indulge, over indulge in food, just shove it all down my thoart until my stomach protests and begs me to stop, and then to go even further than that.

But I don't, I'm in control of myself, and I love this feeling.
I love standing up and being dizzy.
I love that feeling when you're about to fall down, but you force yourself to take another step, to go on, because if you stop, you lose.

I like to starve
I like being in control of myself, having some power over what I do, where I go, who I love.
Emptiness is the best feeling a person can experience.


I don't have an eating disorder, I like to starve, it makes me feel good.
I'm comfortable with my body, I'm chubby, sure, it doesn't bother me it makes me feel like a fat, disgusting pig.
Daddy has even started calling me piggy.
Oink, Oink.